Don’t Beat Yourself Up – Blog Post

January gave birth to hope and February is welcoming in love. I’m excited about it! New month, new changes. With changes, comes growth…or does it?

On our first blog post, we shared some questions that could spike your self-talk regarding your intention for 2018. If your intent for January didn’t quite happen, don’t beat yourself up. Time is your ally. What matters is that you can reflect on what you have experienced so far; look into your patterns, and decide which changes you want to commit to.

Learning from our so called mistakes brings in awareness and if welcomed, clarity. From my previous challenges, these four lessons are what I’ve decided to carry on to this new month. I’d like to share them with you in hope they serve you as well.

  1. Don’t beat yourself up: How many of you have blamed yourself for the outcome of things just because you “knew better?” This year I befriended blame due to the many “mistakes” achieved. I indulged in activities that were not a part of my plans. Yes, most of the time, I knew better. We all know…deep down inside. However, I realized that through mistakes and complications I learned a lot about me, my patterns, my communication skills, and even social skills. I have a drawing in my office that reads “Mistakes are proof you tried” (Anonymous). Because, it is YOUR life, YOUR STORY, have fun with it and enjoy it with much self compassion. Mistakes bring lessons. Pay attention to the lesson and just update your action plan.
  2. Be flexible: Plans change and they don’t necessarily have to result in the way you envisioned them. Any “inconvenience” is an opportunity to look into your rigidity or openness to things/events/people. For instance, I wasn’t thinking about dating, but I did. Initially, I blamed a lot of things happening in MY life to the guy I CHOSE to date and he was not part of MY plans. I was being rigid, defensive, and projected feelings and behaviors that I needed to look into. Once I started paying attention to the gifts that came with such detours, I was able to listen more and understand me more.
  3. Take your time: If things haven’t happened for you, maybe it’s because there is still a lesson to be learned. We all get distracted, trust me. We all experience resistance. We are human. Life is not a race, so let’s try to understand why we haven’t been able to move forward instead of reprimanding and bullying our self. The year has 365 days for a reason, it’s not meant to be completed in one. I invite you to center yourself like mentioned in our previous blog post by asking the following questions: What am I in resistance of? What do I still need to learn more of? What can I improve and how?
  4. Release: Each year, each day comes with its own vibe, its own baggage. Sometimes the baggage feels heavy, sometimes it doesn’t. Start looking into what baggage you have accumulated and which part of it you can release. Maybe today is just 10% of the whole, but little by little you’ll get to 100% if you keep releasing. How to release? Indulge in activities that connect you to you: cry, sing, draw, journal, pray, meditate, exercise, dance, talk about your feelings/worries, gather with friends, talk to a therapist, or simply spend some quality alone time. I’m certain there is something you enjoy that you haven’t done in a while. Give it a try! And if you do so, take a picture and share it with us!

If you have any other ideas that have worked for you and lessons you’d like to share, please join in this conversation.

With love, Yari.

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